- Some casual : why you wearin make up you're playin video games
- Me: gotta look good for snake
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Just reread my last post and I can’t believe I still have hopes for L’Arc~en~Ciel’s music as if Kiss wasn’t enough proof……….
except it’s been out of print for months but ok
this song makes me confused but I like it but I wish they did not succumb to all this “gotta have electronic noises” trend in all music types that’s been happening lately.
but I like it. it sounds like it’d be a good soundstrack for NiER. I hope this is Yukki’s song.
I am fully aware that I am not a happy person, and no matter how I try to be happy, the happiness never lasts long. I find it very hard to trust people, real flesh-and-blood people, when they’re so kind to me, because I’m used to people not taking me seriously. I’m used to people only seeing what’s on the surface of me, and not bothering to know how it’s like inside. It’s not like there is much inside, though.
It’s strange that I hate myself but there are actual people who actually like me as a person. Sometimes I wish I was someone else because I’d like to meet me—how would I react? Will I still find the gaping hole, the hollow I have right now?
I want to be able to feel content with myself. I mean, there are quite a lot of happy things in my life. It’s as if they just passed through me and never stay. I want to make these things stay. Question is, how do I stitch this gaping hole?
Today my friend said to me, “Don’t be sorry for what you are”.
I had a weird sensation after reading his message. It’s a mixture between happiness and nervousness and somewhat dazing. It made me want to vomit out of excitement in a strangely good way. It made me happy. It made me want to get happy.
I want to sew those words on the edge of the gaping hole I have so it doesn’t get blown away by misery.